so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
