What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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