Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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