You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
