We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
