Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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