Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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