420 ftw
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
