You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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