I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
