Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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