Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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