bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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