just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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