Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
