I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
