what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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