I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
