If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
