The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
