You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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