Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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