and i looked up. we had an audience...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
