umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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