i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
