Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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