ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
