Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
