we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
