I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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