guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
