I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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