Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I skipped work to stalk him.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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