I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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