Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wannas sexs uuuuu
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
