so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
