My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Randomize