Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
