she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
