South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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