What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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