Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
