it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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