I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the condom got lost in my hair
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
