We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
