His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
