i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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