if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So much rum. So many feels.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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