but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
