Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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