ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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