So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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