through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hippo gnu deer
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
