just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Randomize
