Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
